


Games of Chance

by SouthSideStory



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canto Bight, F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity, Mask-on smut, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post TLJ, Reylo - Freeform, Yes I put Rey in Padmé’s Black Dress, masked sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 13:05:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthSideStory/pseuds/SouthSideStory
Summary: Canto Bight is a place for gambling and indulgence, so when Rey decides to go to bed with a masked stranger, she’s simply following the law of the land. And if she only finds her way to his penthouse hotel room because he reminds her of Ben Solo, that’s her business and no one else’s.





	Games of Chance

**Author's Note:**

> The mask Ben wears is an all grey version of Darth Revan’s mask. For those who are curious, you can find a visual on my tumblr [here](https://southsidestory.tumblr.com/post/186913711081/the-mask-ben-wears-in-games-of-chance-is-darth)!

.

.

Finn and Rose had warned her about the corruption of Canto Bight—and to park legally—but no one had truly explained its grandeur to her. Anything halfway civilized impressed Rey, after a childhood spent in a junkyard, but this was something else. Cantonica itself was as ugly as Jakku, orange and arid. The town, though. Canto Bight _sparkled_, a thousand windows glowing golden in the night. And the casino was a study in luxury, all vaulted ceilings, shimmering lights, and stained glass windows. More than that, it was the people that Rey couldn’t stop looking at. Humans and dozens of alien races, all dressed in black and white, their clothes so extravagant that she wondered how some of them could walk at all.

Not that she had room to judge. Leia had given her a gown from her own mother’s wardrobe, a Nabooian black confection of buttery leather and lacework. The bodice squeezed her so tightly that it pushed her breasts up, and even small as they were, she almost had cleavage. The skirt had a slight train, more so now that Leia had sewn black silk along the bottom hem. Apparently Padmé Amidala had been almost as tiny as her daughter, because the dress had been ten centimeters too short before alterations. Rey had forgone the pretty but cumbersome collar, and the only part of the outfit she was comfortable with were the sleeves. Unattached to the rest of the dress, and snugly fitting, they reminded her a bit of her arm wraps. She felt hobbled and constricted, and she had no choice but to carry her lightsaber in a little beaded bag, but at least she blended in.

And she looked pretty. She’d seen herself in mirrors around the casino, and as much as she didn’t want to care about such a superficial thing, she couldn’t help it. She’d never been particularly pretty before, not like Rose or Kaydel, but one beautiful dress and makeup had done the job.

Rey resisted the urge to rub her eyes. She could feel the mascara there, and the paint-stuff she couldn’t remember the name of settled over her whole face like a foreign, second skin. But if she was honest with herself, it was worth it to look this nice, at least for one night.

Stupid. She wasn’t here to look pretty. She was here to find the Force sensitive person in Canto Bight. Her premonition hadn’t been specific about time or place, but the masked man she’d seen had been playing at one of the card tables. If he wasn’t here yet, he would be soon.

“Lovely dress, darling.”

The man who’d spoken was tall and obnoxiously dapper, with a white streak running through his slicked-back hair. A flower brooch shone on his lapel, a startling red in this sea of black and white.

The Master Codebreaker. Rey could have smacked him just for being here, when he wasn’t needed. A year ago, if he’d been paying the least bit of attention to Finn and Rose, he could have saved the Resistance fleet.

“Thank you,” Rey said, as steadily as she could manage. “Would you mind showing me to the card tables?”

“Is this your first time?” he asked, in a tone of voice that she decidedly did not like.

But it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take advantage of his interest. Better to have a guide than to bumble along, attracting attention.

“Yes. I’m afraid I don’t know where anything is.”

“Then lets start with Uvide,” he said. “It’s easier than Zinbiddle and far more fun than Savareen Whist.”

“Can’t we go to a Sabacc table? I actually know how to play that.”

Thanks to many a night thrashing Finn and losing spectacularly to Leia.

The Master Codebreaker raised his eyebrows. “You really are a virgin. No one in this casino plays common games like that.”

Heat washed over her at the word _virgin_. When he smirked, she knew she must look as flushed as she felt.

The Master Codebreaker led her to a red felt table, urged her to sit down, and said, “What’s your name? I can’t call you darling all night. Unless you ask very sweetly.”

Rey wished for her staff, but she made herself smile. “I’m Kira. And you?”

“Ah, no. I’m afraid I don’t share my name.”

“That’s not very fair.”

After this was all over, Rey would have a word with Maz about this man. She’d clearly given him too much credit.

“I’m the Master Codebreaker. All my data is posted in a public network. Anyone who can crack the code protecting it is welcome to see my name and take my title. So, you see, it’s quite fair.” He stood behind her and placed one hand on either side of her, gently gripping the edge of the table. “But, no one has done it yet. Perhaps you would like to try, after you’re done playing tonight?”

Rey hummed. “I’m afraid my skills aren’t quite up to that sort of job.”

The dealer said, “Stop flirting, Codebreaker. Am I dealing you in or not?”

“Not tonight, Neero. I’m going to be teaching Kira here how to play.”

Neero glared at both of them. “This isn’t a place for little girls to practice.”

“Oh, don’t be so stuffy. I’m paying her way, and gods know I’ve made you a rich man in tips.” He said to the other players. “Besides, how badly can it go for you with a beginner at the table?”

The others nodded vaguely, and Neero let the Master Codebreaker set her up with a nice pile of Cantocoins, then dealt her in.

The game itself was simple, and Rey was good enough at counting cards to keep up with its mechanics easily. The real challenge lay in predicting the other players’ motivations and moves—or, it would, if she couldn’t read them through the Force. She allowed the Master Codebreaker to coach her for a few minutes, but he happily let her go on her own once he saw how well she understood the game.

“Well, aren’t you a fast learner.”

“Beginner’s luck,” an old Salandryan said sourly. “Nothing more.”

Rey beat them all soundly three rounds in a row, but when she felt the discontent at the table growing, she backed off. She didn’t like to lose, unless it was all in good fun with friends, but winning a fat stack of Cantocoins wasn’t her objective tonight.

_Where is he?_

She watched the other card tables, in case she’d chosen the wrong one, but no. The masked man still wasn’t here.

And then he was.

He was taller and broader than she’d realized when she’d seen him in her dream, as big as Ben. His mask was a dull silver, overlong with a strip of darker grey metal running down the center, and a narrow visor cut across the eyeline. Otherwise, he was dressed all in black. His clothes were cut far more simply than most of the men’s here, but the clean lines only emphasized how fit he was.

She’d been too long away from Ben if some random, well built man was turning her head.

“Hello,” Rey said, as he sat down beside her. “I’m Kira.”

He looked her over. She couldn’t see him do it, of course, but she could feel it as surely as if he’d run his hands down her body.

“Dev.” He canted his head. “You’re new here. How are you liking it?”

His voice. A vocoder rendered it low and scratchy, even deeper than Ben’s sounded through his wretched mask, but something in the cadence of it reminded her of him.

“I’m having fun.”

The Salandryan snorted. “Don’t let her pretty face fool you. She’s been fleecing us all since she sat down. Beginner my ass.”

“Now, now,” the Master Codebreaker said. “Don’t insult my sweetheart.”

Rey closed her eyes, praying to the Force for patience. It really wouldn’t do for her to elbow the Master Codebreaker in the gut.

Dev laughed, low and rough. “I’ll take my chances.”

He was good. Very good. She actually had to work to keep up with him, even though he wasn’t using the Force to win. If he’d been manipulating anyone else at the table, she’d have been able to sense it. But she felt nothing from him, like with Luke.

He had enough control over his powers already to cut himself off from the Force, and that alone was alarming. None of her students had progressed far enough for that sort of thing, even now, after months of training.

Rey glanced at him. He was built like Ben, masked, and so strong already. But no, it couldn’t be. Her visions had yet to steer her wrong when it came to finding new Force sensitives, and why would Ben even be on Canto Bight? The man had an empire to run. He hardly had time to waste gambling.

Unless he’d seen her too, and he knew she’d be here.

“Would you like to dance?” Dev asked.

The Master Codebreaker grasped her shoulder, but before he could stake a claim over her, she said to him, “I don’t need your help anymore. Go get a drink.”

He let her go and left. Hopefully that bit of persuasion would last long enough to keep him away from her for the rest of the night.

Then she looked to Dev. “A dance sounds wonderful.”

When the round ended, Rey gathered her winnings in a large velvet purse from the dealer, and took them to the safekeeping desk. Her money would be watched over until she checked out of the casino, they assured her.

Dev led her to the dance floor, two rooms away, and gently pulled her against him. Was it possible that he might be even taller than Ben? Or maybe it just felt that way because she’d never had the chance to dance with Ben, to be held this closely in his arms. It made her feel small and fragile, but not weak, in a way that very little ever did.

It couldn’t be him. If Dev was Ben, she’d have been surrounded by a dozen Stormtroopers by now, manacled and thrown into the back of a ship.

It was almost as disappointing as it was relieving to know that this man was only a stranger.

She had no idea what he looked like under that mask, but she was beginning to think it didn’t matter. His hands were gloved, so she couldn’t be sure he was even human, and that should have given her pause. But it didn’t. Something about him drew her in, a moth to a flame.

Dev grasped her so low on her waist that his hands were halfway on her hips. She was warm all over, her breath short, and she dearly hoped Dev didn’t notice.

“Are you nervous?”

So much for hope.

“A little,” Rey said, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She wasn’t even sure that was what she was supposed to do. “I’ve never danced before.”

“There’s nothing to it when the music is this slow. You’ll see.”

Rey had barely even heard the music, but now that Dev had pointed it out, she noticed the lazy melody being played on a piano—by no one. She wondered if it was a droid, or simply a self-playing instrument. Then she couldn’t wonder anything else, because Dev was leading her through the steps, and she didn’t want to mess up.

“So. What are you doing on Canto Bight?” Rey asked. “Besides ruining everyone at the card tables.”

“I’m here on business. You?”

Business. That likely meant selling weapons, or something equally sinister. Which ought to make her like Dev less, but it didn’t. Compared to who she’d fallen in love with, an arms dealer was practically an angel.

Still, she couldn’t announce herself and her purposes. With a man like this, she had to tread carefully.

“No business,” Rey lied. “I just wanted to try my luck.”

“Then you came to the right place.”

If she could strip away the vocoder in his mask, what would he sound like? Something close to Ben’s voice, she was almost certain. Rich, deep, strong and tremulous at once.

Dev led her into a smooth twirl, then pulled her back. Close, so close that she could smell some subtle cologne on him, masculine but clean. Their bodies fit together so well, complementary pieces of a puzzle, and Rey couldn’t quite care about how irresponsible this was when it felt this good. She’d done so little for herself just because it felt good. Surely she deserved one night of indulgence.

They danced three times, then Dev invited her to the bar. He didn’t take off his mask, but he ordered her a skinny flute of some fizzy, light blue drink. It burned cold, like ice and fire at once, and it tasted tart. Odd, but nice enough that she drank it quickly and asked for a second one.

“You’ve never drank before, have you?”

Rey set down her glass. “Is it that obvious?”

“A bit,” Dev said, but not unkindly. “Slow down. If you keep going that fast, you might make yourself sick.”

“Thank you.”

When the time came, how could she possibly ask this man to be her student, when he’d already taught her how to dance and drink?

_You need a teacher._

Ben had told her that while their lightsabers were crossed, and Luke had said the same thing only days later. It seemed it was true, in more ways than simply where the Force was concerned.

“Where are you from?” Rey asked.

He tapped his fingers on the bar in a quiet rhythm, not quite in time with the music. “Naboo.”

“Really? My dress is Nabooian. It was a gift from a friend, and her mother was from there.”

“It’s beautiful.” Dev’s mask tilted downward, looking over her body again, more slowly this time. “It suits you.”

Rey sipped her blue drink. Maybe the bubbles were going to her head, because ridiculous fantasies kept flitting through her mind. Like kissing Dev. She didn’t really want to kiss anyone besides Ben, but Dev. Something about him reminded her so strongly of Ben that she might still enjoy it.

“Will you take off your mask?” Rey whispered. “I want to see you.”

Dev shook his head. “The war left some souvenirs on my face that I’d rather not show in public.”

The war? Most people didn’t consider the First Order to be at war with anyone, so he was likely an old veteran of Leia’s generation—though she doubted that he’d fought for the Rebellion.

He was probably twice her age, almost certainly corrupt, and he wouldn’t show her his scarred face.

Rey knew she was being stupid, but she still asked, “What about somewhere private? Would you show me your face then?”

Dev went very still. Then he said, “Maybe.”

She thought of Snoke’s throne room, its crimson canopy burning around her and Ben. How he’d held out his hand to her. _Please_, he’d said, the softest word she’d ever heard. _Yes_, she’d wished she could say. _Yes, I’ll stay with you_—if not in the way he’d meant, in light and love rather than darkness. She’d wanted so much, but she couldn’t have it.

“Let’s go then,” Rey said.

Tonight she’d take what she wanted, what she wasn’t allowed to have with Ben, and damn the consequences.

.

.

The _Golden _hotel was nicer than any place Rey had ever been. Its certainly earned its name, everything in sight crafted in gold and light pink marble. She followed Dev to an old-fashioned turbolift, gated and paneled with a rosy wood, and stood by his side as it took them up. His fingers nudged hers, but he didn’t take her hand. The turbolift opened at an antechamber rather than a hallway, and when the doors to their suite slid back, Rey realized that he’d bought the entire top floor.

“Do you think it’s big enough?” she asked.

Dev made a noise that might be a laugh, but through the static of his vocoder, it was hard to tell.

“Not quite,” he said dryly, “but it’ll have to do.”

He went to the bar, poured her a flute of blush-colored wine, and opened a glass container of dark red fruit. They were plump and round, maybe twice the size of a cherry, so pretty that Rey didn’t hesitate to take one. Sweet in a sharp way, the flesh soft, like a peach. Juice dribbled down her chin so quickly that she barely caught it before it could fall on her dress. She licked it from her fingers, then ate the other half of the fruit more carefully.

“That was delicious,” she said, taking off her shoes. “What is it?”

Dev picked up a berry and held it in his gloved palm. “They’re called _pelloree_. I don’t know what it translates to.”

He set the berry back in its bowl, walked over to her, and wrapped a lock of her hair around his finger. Leia had styled it for her just a few hours ago, but her hair was too fine to hold a curl for long.

“You’re stunning,” he said. “Do you know that?”

“You wouldn’t say that if you saw me in my usual clothes.”

He let go of her hair and touched her throat. “No. You’d be beautiful in rags.”

If it was Ben beneath that mask, he’d know for sure. The day he’d captured her, she’d been wearing sand-stained clothes that hadn’t been washed in weeks. Unkar charged a hefty price to use his washerwoman’s services, and she’d barely been able to afford her portions at the time.

“I’d like to say you’re handsome too, but I don’t really know.”

“And if I’m not?”

Rey touched the metal cheek of his mask. “You will be. I can tell.”

Dev slid his fingers from her throat to the swell of her breasts. The leather of his gloves was warm against her skin, but it still made her shiver.

“Turn around,” he whispered. “I want to unzip your dress.”

This was happening. Dev was going to take off her clothes, lay her down on this bed, and—

She didn’t have words for what would happen next. _Fuck _felt too crude, _have sex_ too obvious. And she couldn’t _make love_ to anyone besides Ben, when he held her heart.

Maybe he was Ben. Even if not, it wouldn’t hurt anyone to pretend.

Rey turned around, holding her bodice close to her chest as he pulled down the zipper. Slow, slow, like he wanted to savor the unveiling of her back. She felt something cold against the crook of her neck, and realized that he’d pressed his masked face there.

It was for the best that he kept it on. As long as he stayed masked, it would be easier to imagine Ben.

He finished pulling down the zipper, baring her lace-clad bottom. Rey let go of the front of her dress, and it fell to the floor in a pool of leather and silk. She tugged off the sleeves, dropped them as well, and walked to the bed, her arms crossed over her chest.

She felt him behind her, even though they weren’t quite touching. Ben—she prayed it was him, wearing a false name and a new mask—turned her around and pulled her arms down.

Rey had spent most of her life unconcerned with her appearance. In the desert, she couldn’t afford petty luxuries like self consciousness. She ate when she could, and was thankful when it strengthened her. That was as far as her interest in her own body went.

All of that had changed after meeting Ben. He was beautiful, and she wanted him so badly that she could only hope he wanted her too. She wasn’t womanly like Rose and so many other girls; there was no softness to her, and her breasts were more proof of that than anything. Dev, Ben, whoever he was, she hoped that he wasn’t disappointed.

He cupped her breasts, but she couldn’t enjoy it, her mind running too wildly. What if he thought she was too small? The dress had made her chest look much fuller than it was. Did he feel tricked, or disappointed?

She shrank away from him, tears stinging her eyes. It really must be Ben under there, because no one else could make her cry so easily.

“Stop worrying,” he said. “I told you already. You’re beautiful.”

“That was before you saw me naked.”

He plucked at her panties. “You’re not naked yet.”

Gods, he was going to kill her.

“What about you? You haven’t undressed at all.”

“And I’m not going to, except where it counts.”

He hooked his fingers under the waistband of her panties and tugged them down. They fell around her ankles. If she’d known this was going to happen, she might have groomed in some fashion. She understood that was something people often did, when they were planning to have sex.

Rey stepped out of her panties and sat on the edge of the bed. “You said you’d take off your mask.”

He pushed her onto her back and ran one hand down her body, from her throat to her belly. “I said maybe.”

“You lied.” Rey closed her eyes. “You could be anyone.”

He nudged her legs open and cupped her sex. It sent a thrill over her, somehow both sharper and softer than anything she’d ever felt in her life, and she gasped.

“I can be whoever you want,” he said, his round voice wavering. “I don’t mind.”

Rey looked up at him, strong and tall, dressed in plain dark clothes. In the dim light, the dull grey of his mask looked almost black. He couldn’t really pass for Ben—but there was enough of Kylo Ren about him she could imagine that.

“Touch me. Please, just touch me.”

He did. First, he rubbed her firmly with his whole hand, then used his thumb for more precise strokes. It was an odd sensation, leather against her most sensitive places, but good.

“You’re perfect,” he said. “So perfect—Kira.”

She shook her head. “My name’s Rey.”

He didn’t stop, or ask any questions, just kept caressing her. “Rey. How does it feel?”

Had he already known who she was? He didn’t seem surprised.

But, then, Kylo wouldn’t. He knew everything about her, had taken it all (whatever he wanted) just like he’d promised. And now he was touching her. Stranger, enemy, lover, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except for him, and her, and this moment.

“Take off your gloves, and...”

He stroked her harder, faster, tearing a moan from her throat. There was a tension building inside her, throbbing between her legs in relentless pulses.

“And?”

She couldn’t look at him when she said, “Use your fingers.”

“To do what?”

She kicked at him, but it was a feeble thing. “You know what.”

He waited, not even stroking her anymore. Bastard.

“Inside me,” she said, embarrassment scalding her whole body. “Touch me that way.”

He took off his gloves and snapped, and the lights hushed down to nothing. Now she was alone in the darkness with him, and it was easier than ever to think of him as Kylo. The monster that haunted the worst of her dreams; the cruelest parts of the man she loved, but still him, still Ben underneath it all.

She felt his fingers brushing her sex, parting her, pushing into her. The stretch of it was almost painful, but she was so ready that he slid inside easily. Her body made a slick noise with every thrust, lewd and blatant in a way that made her want to curl up in shame. All of this was shameful, yet that somehow only made it better.

“You’re so wet,” he said. She wished she could hear his naked voice, but only if it was Ben’s. At least this way he sounded like Kylo. “Wanted this for a long time, haven’t you?”

That didn’t make any sense, if she’d only just met him tonight, but maybe he was playing a game too. Being the man he’d given her permission to imagine.

He rubbed a spot inside her with an insistent, rhythmic pressure that made her legs go rigid and her back arch. So sweet she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, only feel. It was Kylo touching her, taking care of her, wanting her, giving this to her. Her monster, her other half, thrusting into her until she felt drawn impossibly tight. Helpless as a child sold for drinking money in this moment when she’d never felt more like a woman.

“Kylo!”

He stopped, his fingers inside her, but still. Leaving her right on the edge, and nothing had ever ached like this in her life.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I shouldn’t have—but I, I thought it would be all right.”

“It is,” he said. “I just… didn’t expect that.”

“I promise I won’t—”

He curled his fingers inside her, and she wailed, shaking all over.

“No. Say it,” he whispered. “Say that name again.”

“_Kylo_.”

When she closed her eyes, she could see him, that black mask watching her. Then his soft voice in her ear, stealing her fears from her mind and giving them back to her. It had hurt her then, but it didn’t now. All she felt was closeness, intimacy.

_Don’t be afraid. I feel it too._

He pushed a third finger into her, and Rey bucked up, pleasure peaking, washing over her, leaving her stiff and quivering at once. Right or not, it was the purest thing she’d ever felt. Need heightened and fulfilled, shattering her.

When she finally fell limp, boneless against the bed, he pulled his fingers from her and wiped them off on her thigh.

“Take off your mask,” Rey said, though she barely had the breath for it. “I need to see you.”

He said nothing, did nothing, for so long that she half thought he was ignoring her.

Then he pressed some mechanism on the sides of his mask, it released with a hiss, and he pulled it off.

Even in the darkness, Rey could see that it was Ben, and she started sobbing. She’d known all along, really, almost as soon as he’d sat next to her at the card table. But her greatest talent had always been hiding the truth from herself.

“Why did you lie to me?” she asked.

He pulled off his shirt. “The better question is, why did you let me?”

Rey scrambled backward. “Don’t turn this around on me. What are you even doing here?”

“I saw you in a dream. So I came.”

“And this?” She gestured at the bed. “Did you see this too?”

“No. This surprised me.”

Ben unbuckled his belt, and it was only then that she realized he meant to finish what they’d started. She ought to tell him no. Now that she knew, unequivocally, that it was him, she should stop this. But she didn’t want to.

Rey snapped, and dim golden light filled the room, just barely bright enough for her to see him by. Broad and fair, his body powerful but his gaze soft. She watched him undress, same as he’d watched her. Every line of him conveyed strength, so perfectly made that even his scars couldn’t take away from it. She liked that, strangely, that he’d carry her marks on his skin forever. When he took off his underwear, she had to look away. She already felt like she was going to shake apart, and if she looked at him _there_, she might not be brave enough to do this.

She let him climb on top of her, and he was so big that she felt like she could disappear beneath him. If he wanted to hold her down, she couldn’t stop him, not without using the Force. And even then, he might overpower her by will alone. She didn’t think he’d do that to her, but he’d pretended to be a stranger and had still taken her to bed.

“Why did you lie?” Rey asked again.

Ben swallowed, his lips trembling. His eyes usually showed so much, but in this moment, she couldn’t read them.

“Because I didn’t want you to run away. You knew it was me, but if you had admitted that to yourself at the casino, we wouldn’t be in this bed right now. I didn’t expect things to go this far, but…” He kissed her forehead, brushing her skin so delicately that she had to bite back another cry. “I’m glad it did.”

Rey nuzzled his cheek. “Me too.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, almost shyly.

The man held the galaxy in the palm of his hand, and he was afraid to ask her for a kiss.

“Why don’t you just take it?”

She’d meant to be snotty, but her voice came out more pleading.

“So that’s what you want,” he said. Uncovering a truth, not asking a question, and nothing had ever embarrassed her more.

“No! Of course not.”

Except, she shouldn’t want him at all, not after everything he’d done. To her, to her friends, to the galaxy. This would all be so much easier if he just _took _her.

“I’m not doing that,” he snapped.

“Stay out of my head!”

She pushed at his chest, and he didn’t even have the decency to budge a centimeter.

“You called me _Kylo_. Not Ben.”

He sounded almost mad about it, like he was jealous of himself, and that was so ridiculous that Rey could barely understand it.

She didn’t know how to answer, but he saved her from having to try.

Ben’s kiss was tender and brutal at once, just like him, his lips soft but the force behind them hard. He grasped her jaw, held her mouth open, and thrust his tongue into her. Taking. Just, taking.

Rey threw her arms around him, moaning into it. Tonight didn’t count. Tomorrow, they’d go back to their sides of the war, but they could be something else for now. Like a game with a time limit. Hide and seek, until the clock ran out.

He broke away from her, their heavy breaths mingling in the fraction of space between their lips.

“I know you’ve never done this before,” he said.

There was a question on the heels of that statement: _should I be gentle? _But he didn’t ask it.

Rey parted her legs wider. He reached down, and she could feel his cock against her, nudging her, then—

It hurt. She’d known it would, but this was more than she’d expected, in every way. More painful, more powerful, more intimate. When he groaned and pushed deeper, she felt ripped open for him, spoiled but worshipped. Pleasure crept in along with the pain, or maybe _because _of the pain. She couldn’t tell and didn’t care.

“_Rey_,” he gasped, as flayed as she felt. Good. He deserved to be torn apart with her.

“Don’t stop! Please, don’t stop.”

He didn’t, only thrust harder and faster. Her body welcomed his so easily, the hurt already fading, like her virginity had been a thing made from him to claim. There’d be blood on these sheets, and she didn’t care. Let him break her while they had the chance, because she’d have to pull herself back together come morning anyway.

Rey rocked up, meeting him, and Ben said her name, over and over again. _Rey, Rey, Rey._ Like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.

“I love you,” she said. “I love you, Ben.”

He kissed her gently this time, hungry but reverent. She felt him rock deep, as far as her body could take his, and tasted his shuddering moan on her tongue.

In the soft afterward, he kissed her again, his lips drunken and clumsy. There was a threefold mess between her legs now: her wet, her blood, and his come. Rey waited for the regret to settle in, now that this was done, but she felt nothing of the kind. Only an affinity for Ben that grew with every breath.

It wasn’t until he pulled out of her that Rey realized he hadn’t said _I love you _back.

She turned onto her side away from him. She still didn’t regret this, but she also didn’t want to give him anything more than she already had. Ben wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her against him, not letting her go, even in this small way.

“Stay,” he said. “I want you to stay with me.”

That promise would be so easy to make, and so hard to keep.

“You know I can’t.”

“You _can_. You just won’t.” His hold on her tightened, growing almost painful, his blunt nails digging into her belly. “You could have stayed with me that day on the _Supremacy _too, but you didn’t.”

Rey jerked away from him, struggling out of his grasp. “And you could have gone with me, but here we are. Do you really want to talk about that right now?”

He grabbed her, pulled her onto his lap, and sat up, putting them nearly eye to eye.

“You say you love me, but you won’t be with me. I’ve seen that sort of love before, when my parents were constantly running away from each other, and it isn’t something I’m interested in.” He shook her, not ungently, but it was still jarring. “I want you by my side on a throne, and in my bed, and on my arm in the daylight. I want _all_ of you, not pieces. And I won’t rest until I have it.”

“Oh, Ben. You have it backwards.” Rey brushed his hair away from his flushed face. “Love is something you give, not something you take.”

A muscle below his full lips trembled, but he didn’t say anything.

“I’ll stay the night,” Rey whispered, “but I have to go in the morning.”

He shook his head. “I have half an army of Stormtroopers around this hotel, just waiting for my orders. You’ll be in handcuffs and on my ship in ten minutes, if I say so.”

“If you say so,” Rey agreed. “You really want to put me in chains again?”

“If you won’t be my wife, then that only leaves room for you to be my enemy.”

_Wife._ That word shouldn’t shock her, with everything else that he’d said, but it did. Marriage meant more than love. Marriage meant family.

Rey cupped his face between her hands and made him look at her. “I might fight against what you’re doing, but I’m not your enemy. You know that.”

She could feel the precise moment that he broke, in the quivering of his jaw under her fingers, and the warmth of his breath against her face.

“I hate this,” he said. “It’s not fair.”

In a distant way, Rey recognized that Ben sounded childish, but she could only agree with him. It _wasn’t _fair. She’d spent her whole life alone, and when she’d finally found someone to love, a war stood between them.

She kissed his chin and whispered, “I hate it too.”

That, at least, they could do together.

.

.

They kissed and talked through the night, then made love again in the morning. Dawn drifted through the gauzy curtains, falling golden around them as she rode Ben. They moved in sync, learning each other’s bodies, their pleasure steeped in rising sunlight, until they fell apart.

Afterward, Rey sat on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. Her friends would be worried about her, and Finn might even be getting grand plans to come to Canto Bight and find her. She needed to go. She should have left already.

Rey dressed in Padmé Amidala’s beautiful gown, and listened to the rustling sounds of Ben putting on his clothes as well. The bed was still rumpled from their lovemaking—that was the right word, she knew now, despite the lies that had brought them together and the truths that were tearing them apart. Her blood stained the white covers, a beautiful memory that would soon be washed away.

The sun was up, their time had run out, and the game was over. Rey wasn’t sure whether she’d won or lost, but she didn’t regret her choices. If this was all she could have with Ben for now, she’d take one stolen night over nothing.

_It won’t always be this way._ She had to tell herself that to keep going. It was a trick she’d learned long ago, how to use promises to make the present bearable.

When Ben kissed her goodbye, Rey kissed back, and thought, _someday_. Not yet, maybe not soon, but eventually things would change. Ben would turn to the light, and they could be together.

She just had to be patient, and if nothing else, Jakku had taught her how to _wait_. At least this time she would be waiting on someone who could still come home.

.

.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know what you thought of this fic, if you have a moment to comment. :)


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